Why the fuck aren't you working on my computer at the moment? It's been like this since Saturday. Everything worked brilliantly until then, and come the weekend - my page NEVER loads up. What the hell is going on?
The Grim Reaper is a being who has no life whatsoever and therefore gets enjoyment out of using the micro-blogging service that you provide. I'm not pretending for a second that it's the worst thing to happen in the history of the world ever, but you really should be running a more efficient website than this, especially for such a big brand name.
At least show me the Twitter fail whale when I log on if there's a problem - don't just tell my browsers to say the page is done loading when it clearly fucking isn't. Sort it out, or The Grim Reaper will be heading over with his scythe.
The Grim Reaper